


(She Says) Be True

by findafight



Series: How Lucky We Are [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, But only a bit, Canon Era, Crying, Cuddles, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Other, Polyamory, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/findafight/pseuds/findafight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliza knows Angelica has heard the rumours surrounding Philip and John. She also knows that she's too drunk to explain the situation properly right now. At least John is distracting for the most part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(She Says) Be True

**Author's Note:**

> for my dearest, [Andy](http://alandraroses.tumblr.com/), who listens to my rambling despite time differences.

Eliza smiles as Alexander Jr.squeals with laughter as John scoops him up and continues to lope about the yard, being chased by Philip and Angelica. It is not uncommon for them to play like this, but they hardly ever have so much time, the summer stretching on before them. Angleica—her daughter, not her sister—catches Jack’s leg and clings to him, attempting to sow him down enough that Philip can jump on his back. 

She watches as her children tackle her lover into the grass and begin to relentlessly tickle him, his laughter catching in his throat as he tries to enlist her for his defence. “Betsey! My dearest, the children have gotten me, and defeat is imminent without reinforcements!"

Placing baby James down so he stands, she whispers to her youngest "go help Daddy, James. He needs you to get Philip off him!" 

Their youngest runs as well as he can towards the pile of people, yelling nonsense battle cries as he goes. Jack looks up from where he is giving Alexander a raspberry on his cheek and catches him before he runs full-speed into his big brother. 

“They get along quite well, don’t they?” Eliza jumps as her sister smiles at her, too caught up in watching her family to notice her before.

“Who?” 

Angelica raises an eyebrow. “John Laurens and your children. I think I even heard James call him ‘Daddy’, once or twice.”

Eliza is at a loss for words. She knew, abstractly, that eventually Angelica was likely to find or figure out her odd martial status, but she had never bothered to plan what to say in anticipation for it. She swallows and says haltingly "Well, he is like a father to them. He and Frances have lived with us since the war and are practically family." This, by far, is the worst part of their arrangement; the denial of everything John means to her and Alexander and reducing him to just a close family friend, someone who lives with them out of convenience and not commitment. 

Angelica sighs and looks out onto the yard. "That is what they say about him."

Eliza turns towards her sister and ask just what exactly she means by _that_ but before she can get the words out James Alexander comes running over to them and yells "I have to go pee!" _._ Taking his hand, Eliza leads her son away from her sister, and knows that the subject of her dear Laurens will be brought up again. 

\---

 

Eliza kisses the top of Jack's head as she walks past, saying "Shall I get another bottle? It's so rare we all have time enough to spend like this, it would be a shame not to indulge, especially since my husband has finally decided to take a break..." 

Alexander grins and snatches her hand as she passes to kiss it "by all means, my dear wife, lead us down this path of over indulgence–if only for one night."

Giggling, she takes her hand back to place on her hips "Then I will return dutifully with wine in hand.” She spins, slightly clumsily, away from them to find another wine bottle, feeling light in her chest.

She hears alexander as he calls to her as she walks away "Best of wives!" and Jack choruses "Best of women!" beside him, causing Angelica to laugh.

When she returns to the sitting room, wine in hand, she pauses in the doorway, hearing Angelica's laugh ring out in the night, bolstered by not an insignificant amount of sweet wine. Alexander is still leaning heavily on John with cheeks flushed, grin brilliantly white, and eyes sparkling with mirth as he watches John laugh; Jack's hair has almost completely escaped the ribbon tying it back, and splays where he leans his head against the high back of the sofa, Addams apple bobbing with near silent laughter. Eliza is struck with such an overwhelming love for the three of them that it feels as though her heart is in her throat. 

In favour of a far better seat when she enters the room, she places the wine on the side table and passes the large armchair she had taken residence in earlier in the evening, instead wobbling only slightly as she attempts to insert herself between John and Alexander. Her husband only grunts and shuffles closer into John’s neck, who just lets out what sounds suspiciously like giggles and wraps one arm around her waist to pull her down and the other around their husband’s. Determined, she hooks an arm around John's shoulders and positions herself across their laps, which earns another round of giggles from John as he presses his nose to her hair and feathers a kiss to her temple. 

For a few moments they stay like that, Eliza watching Alexander beginning to snore against John, who breathes slowly with his nose against her jaw. It is moments like these that she thinks she loves the most about life with her boys. Alexander is an almost constant whirlwind of activity and passion, John reflects that passion in a more quiet and precise way, and their children take up whatever time is left between politics, housework, and school. Eliza loves them both dearly in all the activity, but quiet moments are hard to come by, and they help ground her in a way that excitement does not.

John is beginning to peck small kisses by her ear when she is drawn out of the haze of contentment by a soft cough across the room, Angelica looking at them with her brows drawn together, lips pursed. Her eyes are darting between Alexander's sleeping form slumped against Jack and his lips against her hair and hands around her waist in a way so casual it must be obvious this is not the first time she's sat on his lap. Something cold runs down Eliza's spine, under the scrutiny of her elder sister's gaze she remembers that what they have is unusual, not understood, and looked down upon in society. Suddenly, the warmth from the wine and the atmosphere of being around her favourite people is gone, replaced by a coldness flowing down her limbs and her stomach tying itself into knots. 

She loves her sister dearly, but doubts if she would comprehend their situation. How, despite rumours of her infidelity, Jack is an integral part of their marriage. He is not someone disposable or unimportant, a mere fling she has to pass the time while her husband is absent. He is most definitely not having an affair with her. Or Alexander, for that matter. He is their third, so much like Alexander in his passion that the differences between them are more pronounced, and just as skilled as Eliza in getting their husband to pull away from work for a moment. Eliza doesn't know how to explain to Angelica that loving Jack has never stopped her loving Alexander, he has only helped make that warm feeling in her chest she gets when she looks at Alexander expand and grow with their family. How to say that she is in love with two men, who love her, who love each other; that they are perfect this way, married to John as well as Alexander, in everything but name. 

Eliza knows that Angelica must know of the rumours about Philip's father, how her eldest son is growing into the spitting image of John Laurens and that he is still close to Eliza, living in her home and helping raise her children. She knows Angelica has heard it, but she thinks Angelica had never seen any merit in the gossips until now, as her accusation earlier showed. Her eyes are wide as she watches John nuzzle Eliza's hair and mumble something about sleep into her ear. Eliza takes a breath before struggling to free herself from Jacks grip, to deal with the sudden and unfounded guilt washing over her. 

Jack whines when she stands up, but quiets when Alexander groggily pats his chest and repositions on his shoulder. Eliza takes a breath to steady herself before turning to her sister. “I think that it’s time we retire to bed, wouldn’t you say, Angelica?” and her sister nods, staring at Eliza the way she stares at men she tries to intimidate. She’s never used this look on Eliza before, but somehow she resists the urge to deflate into herself. “Good. I’ll get my—the boys up to bed then, if you can tidy up a bit? I’ll see you in the morning. And—” she pauses, meeting her sister’s eyes, “And we’ll talk about what you mentioned tomorrow. Alright? Goodnight, Angelica.” 

Not trusting herself to not cry when faced with the glare on Angelica’s face, she turns quickly to face John again, who is watching her with the dazed happy look he gets when he's started to sober up after drinking a fair amount and has Alexander and herself near. It also means he is more free with touches and words tumble out of his mouth, unhindered. "My dear girl, what did I ever do to deserve two as magnificent as yourself and our dear Alexander."

She shakes her head and offers her hand to assist him getting her husband to stand up. "Let's get you both to bed John. And you had to do nothing to deserve Alexander and my company, it is freely given."

His grin widens as he takes her offered hand and drapes himself onto her, nose tucked under her jaw and arms wrapped around her waist. “Mmm, Betsey you truly are the best of wives and women. What would I have done without you to bring me to this wonderful state of being?" She shivers as his lips graze her neck. His words are slightly slurred with drink but genuine nonetheless, and Eliza cannot help the flush that creeps into her cheeks. John has never been the orator Alexander is, but when he puts his mind to it he is stupendous at making Eliza feel loved. “You are magnificent, my dearest, I have no idea how you put up with our husband's and my antics.”

She knows Angelica is watching them, judging what John and Eliza mean to each other from this display, but not if she can hear the nothings Jack is whispering into her neck. Nudging him with her shoulder she whispers, "My dear, I think it's time we helped our Alexander into bed, is it not? Angelica is wanting to clear things up.”

Though she would have preferred him to stay, the mention of their unintended audience has the desired effect of removing John quickly from her shoulder. He stands too straight now, spine rigid and shoulders back, and it breaks Eliza's heart to see how fast he can go from happily placid against her to stiff in fear of people finding out. Blinking at her slowly, he nods "of course. I shall help you get him upstairs." 

He turns towards Alexander, who has woken up slightly. Taking one side of Alexander and Eliza the other, he bids Angelica a good night. Her husband only needs a slight amount of support to walk, though he needs s fair amount of pushing to actually move. He mumbles under his breath and attempts to kiss both John and herself at the same time. Due to being on opposite sides, he ends up whipping his head back and forth with his lips pursed and whining. Eliza takes pity and pecks his lips before shoving him through the bedroom doorway with John. 

"Take you sweater and trousers off, dear, and I'll get you water.” She says she grabs a glass from the nightstand to fill from the jug and John starts tugging on the hem Alexander’s sweater. Wrestling him out of his clothes and under the covers, they make him drink a glassful before placing a fresh glass beside him. 

Eliza kisses his head and whispers a soft goodnight before turning to John. He grins at her and places his hands gently on her neck, thumbs brushing her jaw. “Would you like assistance getting out of that dress, Mrs. Hamilton?” He asks, already slipping his hands down her front to undo the topmost drawstring.

She nods and tilts head head back, holding onto his waist as he undoes the fastenings not yet undone on her shortskirt and pulls it over her head, kissing her nose when she emerges. She has forgone most petticoats today so it is easy enough for him to free her of those, leaving her in her thin shift and him fully clothed. Before she can encourage him to join her in semi-nakedness he turns away from her without a word. 

“How rude, undressing me only to turn your back to me. I though you had better manners than that, Dr. Laurens.” she crosses her arms over her chest, feigning annoyance. “Perhaps our dear husband and I will have to teach you some.” 

Jack chuckles and returns to her with her nightshirt in hand. Draping it over his shoulder he fingers the hem of her shift, fingers brushing her thighs lightly. She shivers and presses closer to him, threading her hands through his hair and kissing his lips. Enthusiastically, he kisses back, hands holding her hips steady. He pulls back just enough to breathe before speaking. “You are a wonder, Betsey, but it is time for bed. The children will rise and wake us up at this rate.”

She huffs a laugh and allows her shift to be taken off and fits her arms into her nightshirt. “The day Angelica wakes before either of us is the day we know we’ve grown old.”

“There are worse fates than to grow old with you and Alexander.” He leans in, just brushing his lips against hers, when a knock makes them both jump.

“Eliza?” Angelica’s voice calls softly from the other side of the door. “Eliza I need to talk to you.”

Looking at John, fully dressed but dishevelled, Eliza takes a breath before opening the door and slipping into the hallway. “Yes, Angelica?” And she suddenly feels tired and worn, far too drunk to deal with what she knows her sister is about to ask, and wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed with her husbands and sleep until noon. 

Angelica sizes her up, biting her lip before she speaks. “I just—Eliza I need to know. You aren’t having an affair with Laurens are you? You wouldn’t betray Alexander like that? I know you like I know myself but I feel as though you’re hiding something important from me. I’ve heard…rumours, about Philip and Laurens and you and Alexander and I don’t know what I should think, because you haven’t told me anything! I don’t want you to hide from me, I’m your sister, I want you to _trust_ me.” she clasps Eliza’s hands in hers as she rambles, and squeezes them. She takes a breath, “Just. What does John Laurens _mean_ to you?”

Looking at their intertwined hands, Eliza feels the guilt from earlier bubble in her chest. At the moment, she is entirely too drunk to handle the conversation that needs to happen. She squeezes Angelica’s hands back, and says,“I am not cheating on my husband. I love Alexander dearly, Angelica, it’s just that…the situation is complicated and hard to explain, and you and I are both too drunk now for it to be handled with the delicacy the subject requires, so it would be best if I explained fully tomorrow while sober. I promise, I will, Angelica. And Alexander can assist, if need be, if you—if what I say is difficult to understand.”

Her sister nods slowly, “Alright Eliza, I love you, and only want you to be happy and honest with me. I expect a full debrief in the morning, no wiggling out of it.” She gives a small smile and wags her finger.

At that, Eliza grins. “Aye, aye, sister. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight, Eliza.” Angelica says as she walks back towards her room, but before Eliza can carefully enter her own, she turns back, looking worried. “You are happy, though, Eliza? You seem like it…I just, I want to be sure. Whatever you explain to me tomorrow, it makes you happy?”

Eliza smiles, full and genuine, at her sister and nods. “Yes, lord yes. Angelica, I never thought I could be this happy for so long.”

Her sister nods again, hand on her doorknob. “Good. That’s—Eliza, that is the most important thing for me. Our conversation tomorrow will be enlightening, to be sure, but as long as you are happy and no one is being harmed, I shall do my damnedest to support you.”

“Thank you, Angelica. I want you to be happy as well, you know. With you in England it is harder to know, but are _you_ happy?” Eliza inquires. For all her sisters assertions that she is fine, Eliza has seen sadness flash across her face every so often, and it breaks her heart that her sister may not be as content in life as she and her boys are.

Sighing, Angelica opens her door before answering. “I manage Eliza. I manage. Goodnight, we’ll talk more in the morning.” And with that, she disappears into her room, leaving Eliza standing in the hall infront of her bedroom. She gazes at her sister’s door for a few moments before rubbing her eyes and reentering her own room.

John has managed to get himself into his own nightshirt and taken residence on the opposite side as Alexander in bed, leaving the middle for her. John lifts his corner of the sheets to let her in, and she crawls over top of him before settling with her back to a fast asleep Alexander. Jack drapes an arm over her hip and she tucks her head under his chin, listening to his steady breaths and Alexander’s mild snoring.

“Is everything well with your sister?” he whispers, chest rumbling with it against her cheek.

Eliza sniffles and shuffles closer into Jack’s embrace. “She knows we have not told her the truth about you and suspects the rumours about Philip might be true, and we have agreed to talk about it tomorrow. She deserves to know what you mean to us, but I doubt I can tell her alone.”

His arm tightens slightly around her and he plants a kiss to her forehead. “Alex and I will be here if you need us, just say the word. You are certain you want to tell her? We haven’t told anyone other than the children, and they have always known.”

“She sincerely wants me to be happy, John. You and Alex and our children, you all make me happy and I want her to _know._ ” Something inside her that had been stretching for what seems like a lifetime breaks at that, and she blinks tears away and sobs softly. “I want to tell somebody and be able to talk to her about you without having to _pretend._ It’s awful, lying about you, Jack.” 

She’s clinging to his nightshirt now, tears wetting the fabric, and Jack is stroking her her hair and attempting to make soothing noises. This somehow makes her sobs worsen. “Dammit, I’m too drunk for this. I can’t—John, dear lord, I love you and I want people to _know._ I want to be able to say ‘ _Oh yes, that’s my Jack, isn’t he amazing? We love him so.’_ But we _can’t_ , because it’s not _proper_ and I want—I want—” She is crying in earnest now, great, heaving sobs muffled by Jack’s chest, yet she cannot make herself stop. “I want so much for people to know you are ours but they never can, lest you or alex or you both get sent away or killed and our children, dear god what would—would people say about them. About _Philip_. It isn’t _fair_ , and sometimes I can hardly stand it.” 

Her sobbing, it seems, has woken Alexander, and he has wrapped his arms around her and kisses the back of her neck. “Hush, Eliza. We know, we know. Sometimes it takes everything I have not to grab hold of his hand in the street. It is, by far, the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced.”

“Even moreso than Burr?” and Eliza can hear the smile in his voice, teasing.

Alexander harrumphs and burrows his nose into her neck, mumbling a barely audible “Only slightly.” which is somehow just the right thing to also make Eliza smile despite her tears.

She relaxes her grip of Jack’s nightshirt and snakes one hand down to grasp his hand. “I love you both.” She whispers, though Alexander has already fallen back asleep, and John is fading. 

“We know,” he mumbles into her hairline. “We love you too. I am sorry about the secrets, Eliza, but how else can we have this sliver o happiness?” and with that, she feels herself slipping into sleep, exhausted by the emotions and crying of the day. Eliza tries to match her breathing with Alexander’s slow and steady rhythm. She allows herself to be enveloped in the almost too-hot safety between her boys and relax in the their embrace, and drifts into sleep.

Tomorrow she will have to explain what this means to her, how it correlates with her children, how society has no room for people like her family, but for now, she allows herself to let her boys’ sleep wash into her own.

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in an au I have planned out, and is a snapshot of it. It is by no means the chronological first thing, but it is the first one I finished. Obviously inspired by the fact that Anthony Ramos plays both Laurens and Philip, I wanted to make a happy au and somehow got dragged into John/Eliza hell. I started planning this au out in December, and have approximately 6 fics started and another few planned, as well as headcanons galore. (ask me about the "our husband" thing, _please_ )
> 
> This is my first completed and posted fic in a long time, so comment or hit me up on my [Tumblr](http://findafight.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
